What does a soft life mean? Does softness mean weakness to you?
Sometimes the hard edges of life can catch you unexpectedly and the natural instinct is to cover your heart. At least, that has been my experience.
What I have found transformational, has been having a soft place to land and let my guard down, to rest and reset. To breathe. That place has been in yoga studios, in my mother’s house, in my father’s house, the quiet of my own place I have lived in for many years.
A soft life does not mean weak or a lack of boundaries, it is a lifestyle that allows you to live intentionally to produce the results you want to, without burning yourself ragged. Hustle hard culture doesn’t resonate with me. I think – why hustle hard? When you can be intentional and deliver excellent results. Hustle hard makes me feel stressed and like energy is scattering everywhere. You have a finite amount of energy. What if you became clear about what you value and invested your time, money and sacred energy in what lifts your soul? This is also relates to your work, your friends, your down time…what if you created a life you loved?
I went through a phase of saying yes to everything and to everyone. I was tired and found people came to expect it and the energy was not always reciprocated. I started to tap into my energy levels and how to best nourish my soul. And started to say no. It was both liberating and scary and meant some relationships and friendships ended abruptly. They had to end. I survived and so did they…I gave myself permission to rest and set clear boundaries.
Burnout is a thing. A thing of modern lifestyle, technology always on. A soft life means you are consciously choosing rest, you are setting boundaries, you are nourishing your soul so that you can show up the way you envision.
Women are regularly encouraged to ‘lean in’. Personally, I am saying lean back. I want to pour into my relationships, my work, my family and people around me and I have to tell myself to pull back and give space. Women will naturally lean in and care for one another, their community and everyone else except for themselves, to their detriment. Who gets the short end of the straw in their mid-40s/50s and 60s? Women are and are finishing work with lower superannuation, experiencing health issues because of delays with going to the doctor, put their careers on hold to care for children, family members, local communities and less borrowing capacity when marriages end. Women put others first, not to be noble, but a genuine desire to care for the wider community.
I find my students are landing in class exhausted. I can see wired eyes and tired bodies and it is a privilege for me to serve as a yoga teacher and offer guidance into breathing exercises, stretches and meditation to switch out of fight or flight mode and into rest and digest/relaxation mode.
I say lean back and rest in your feminine. This is regardless of your gender and how you identify….
What are examples of leaning back and resting in your feminine energy?
- Yin yoga
- Gentle stretching
- Being creative with writing, journaling, painting or creation of some kind
- Go swimming
- Practice ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’
Athletes have recovery days which give the body a chance to recover and perform at an optimum level. YOU are an athlete of life!! And deserve to rest and reset to perform at your optimum level.
Food for thought as we start a new year.
Lean back and rest in your feminine and notice what happens.
Picture features beautiful carnations and babys’ breath. I love flowers! They bring me so much joy and my surfboard in the background also allows me to be surrounded by the ocean.