Here is a picture of me post head shave with 7 weeks of hair growth! I felt like crying 2 minutes before they shaved. I messaged tambu meri (this means sister-in-law in pidgin, language in PNG) and said “I want to cry!”…tambu meri said “Be brave! You can do this.”
I felt emotional because I was thinking of my loved ones who died from cancer: Paul Eka, my brother in-law and my grandmother who was a style queen. My grandmother loved her hair, makeup and in her old pics from the 50s she was always styling and looked super glamorous – my glam Nan! I guess it was a culmination of those emotions that brought on this feeling of wanting to cry right before they shaved plus my ideas of beauty. Grandma lost her hair during chemo.
While they actually shaved my head, I was fine, the crying feeling had gone…and post head shave, I am fine. It has been liberating, freeing and released ideas of beauty.
What is beauty and femininity?
Is it having long jet black hair, a perfectly made up face and high heels or going au natural?
My grandmother looked beautiful both when she had all her hair and when she lost her hair. I love going to the hairdressers, getting my hair done, shellac nails done, facials and can spend a heck of a lot of money on this and I feel very womanly (wooowooo) post beauty treatments and aim to channel my inner Beyonce. It’s important to be your best and feel your best. That said, I am well aware beauty is skin deep and internal peace is equally important.
Short grey hair
I am growing back my hair and have decided to keep it dye free and one of my friends is not super impressed. She said
“oh, you look like you just got out of jail, you are going grey. I want your hair to hurry up and grow and you dye it.”
….some lovely unwarranted advice! But, I welcome honest communication always….even if it feels brutal.
I said “Do you think I’m ugly?”
She said “Not ugly, just not as pretty”
Yo, burn! We did not continue our conversation as she had to roll after I dropped her off and I was in the car with oncoming traffic.
First of all, there is no “criminal look”…you can go to jail with long or short hair. But, it made me think about beauty and I want to share, especially with my young crew, who are in their teens and growing up in this digital, always on world full of filters, Instagram perfection and funny Facebook live stories.
I want to share you are beautiful the way you are!
Whether you choose to shave your head, or dye it pink, or have dreadlocks, crooked teeth, braces, have pimples or clear skin, want to shave your legs or not shave your legs, have the latest shoes or go about with bare feet.
Your body is yours to own, cherish, love and respect. It is your body. Your choice. Your consent. You are human, you are perfect and please don’t buy into bullshit ideas that perpetuate unnecessary pressure and unrealistic ideals of what beauty is. It’s about the colour of your soul.
From a yogic standpoint, I am on this journey of self-love and self-acceptance regardless of the colour of my hair, my weight, my height, the shape of my feet or my nose. This is my journey through santosha. In yogic philosophy, santosha means contentment for how you are, the way you are right now. This does not mean you don’t have goals or have intentions to look forward to and work for. Or that you are not acknowledging the past. But, that you are here, present and embracing all that you are and where you are right now.
And I know I’m preaching!…but being body positive in this world we live in is so so important. For all people, and especially for my young crew coming through who are at a precious stage in life where values and ideals are formed. Love yo-self.
Stap wantaim yu! Xx